Posted by
Sheila on Friday, October 13, 2006 12:57:17 PM
As the newly nominated spokesperson for the Democrat party I would like to tell you what to expect when our side wins the House and the Senate majority this November, and the White House in '08.
The first thing we'll do is close down all New Media, in order to be fair to the MSM. All that competition is confusing mind-numbed dittoheads.
The second thing we'll do is impeach all conservative Justices for perverting the Constitution, and fill their seats with ACLU lawyers.
Third we will confiscate all guns from private citizens, so we can better protect them from themselves.
Fourth, we'll round up all members of the Bush's administration, and Bush, and have a quick trial, proclaim them all guilty of war crimes and ship them off to Siberia (with Pistol).
Fifth, we will throw John Bolton to the lions, and install Slick as ambassador to the UN.
Sixth, we will mandate all pregnant women check in for immediate abortions in order to control population growth.
Seventh, we will arrest all obese people and put them in vegetarian prisons.
We will immediately incinerate all cattle Ranches to rid the country of the evils of beef, and make this a vegan nation.
In order to end global warming we will order all citizens to live in TPs and use horses, mules, or camels for all transportation.
Our next priority will be to take over health care, and assign specialists to clinics in all districts, to inoculate all conservatives with brain cell killing mind flu shots.
We will next establish sensitivity training centers for all who fly American flags, go to Christian churches, wear crosses, or display any Christian symbols on Holidays.
We will remove all troops from all posts around the world, and set up reprogramming camps led by militant jihadists.
We will immediately make all Wall Mart employees members of Unions, and mandate higher, fairer prices.
We will also mandate higher gas prices to please the EU, and increase all taxes, to make life fair for all.
And finally, we will discontinue Star Wars, point and send all nuclear missiles to Siberia, fly the White flag over the White House, and have Barbara Streisand sing the National Anthem at the installation of President Hillary.